Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling. Extroverts to the external life of people and activities.

When I was growing up in Indonesia, I was one of the most studious kids at school. I even won an award for borrowing the most books out of my school library! Even during my holidays I would borrow lots of books and just spend my spare time reading. This kind of quiet and nerdy attributes are highly regarded in the Asian countries like Indonesia. I was also taught to listen to the elderly, to work hard, and to not speak up against authority. So when I moved to Australia it was a bit of a cultural shock, I learnt that I needed to speak up more to be successful in my study and/or at work. During university I read Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to understand the skills to be outgoing and therefore improve my employment opportunities. Nowadays Western societies tends to think that extroversion is the key to success which Susan refers to as “the Extrovert Ideal” in her book. There is little appreciation on the characteristics of introverts and how to untapped their talents. In Quiet, Susan explains that one of the differences between an introvert and an extrovert is the level of outside stimulation they need.

Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone, extroverts need to recharge when they don’t socialize enough

Throughout the book she highlighted other key strengths of introverts, such as:

• Persistence in solving more complex problems. I remembered that during high school I used to love solving those hard calculus problems in my math class and everyone seemed to be baffled by my enthusiasm.

• Preference to work alone or in a one-on-one basis than in a large group setting

• Slow and deliberate working pace

• Focus on one task at a time

• More immune to rewards such as wealth and fame

They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation

Another misconception is that people tend to link introversion with shyness and Susan clarifies that the two are not the same. There are definitely shy introverts out there but there are also shy extroverts! The difference between the two is that

Shyness is caused by the fear of social disapproval or humiliation while introversion is a preference for less stimulating environments.

What about the nature vs. nurture question? Is introversion something you were born with, or is it a reflection of the environment and people around you during childhood? Scientists believe they can predict what the temperament of people will be by analysing a baby’s or child’s reactivity to stimulation. On the other hand, studies on twins show that introversion-extroversion is only 40 – 50% heritable. This implies that your inborn temperament (nature) interacts with your environment and your own free will (nurture) to shape the person you are now.

The book not only sheds lights on the misunderstood concept of introversion but it also highlights the differences in characters with extroverts including communication styles. After reading the book, I feel less guilty for preferring a quiet weekend reading books than going out partying. Even though I am more of an introvert, through the book I can also identify that I have some extrovert characteristics. It gave me insights on how to approach different activities and achieve goals using a mix of introvert and extrovert strengths. This is an excellent book to read for everyone to better understand other people’s personalities and appreciate the contributions of introverts to the world.

In reality there is no clear line that separates introversion and extroversion into two different groups. It is rare to be 100% introvert or 100% extrovert and in most scenarios it is a mix of introversion and extroversion with one being a dominant character in a person’s personality. By understanding the differences in these two characteristics, each of us can venture to the less dominant character whether it’s extroversion or introversion and find the sweet spot that balances our needs.

We are like rubber bands at rest. We are elastic and can stretch ourselves, but only so much.